Pitchplay

A compendium of short screenplay (or other fictive) ideas. Make your pitch. Works submitted remain the property of their originators, although it should be carefully noted that there are no new ideas.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

THE WEDDING PLANNER VERSUS THE WEDDING SINGER

The Wedding Planner, Mary, (JENNIFER LOPEZ) has been newly-widowed after her pediatrician-husband Steve (MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY, in flashbacks) is killed testing a new vaccine for avian flu on himself. Wanting to start over, she moves to a small town in Connecticut where an opening for a wedding planner has just opened up. There she meets Robbie the Wedding Singer (ADAM SANDLER), recently divorced from wife Julia (DREW BARRYMORE), who has become a conservative columnist and fund-raiser for Republican causes after losing all her savings in the stock market bubble burst of 2001. Robbie has been left by his wife to raise their three children, all of whom are as quirky and sweet as their parents were in the original movie. Mary is unhappy because she and her husband had never had children, and instantly falls in love with Robbie and his delightful brood, who find the sassy urban newcomer to be just the kind of spice they needed in their lives. Robbie and Mary have the basis of a stable relationship in their shared professional interests in the multi-billion dollar wedding industry. Mary now wants to have children with Robbie, but Robbie has had a vasectomy. Solution: they use the frozen sperm of Steve to artificially inseminate Mary. As Mary's due date approaches, Steve's ghost appears -- first, Mary thinks, in dreams, then increasingly as a participant in the various weddings that she's planning! Then Julia suddenly reappears and sues for sole custody of her children with Robbie. A spectral lawyer from heaven (SAMUEL L. JACKSON) then files counter-suit in court on behalf of Steve for custody of Mary's baby, which Julia now claims is hers from a frozen embryo she and Robbie stored following her successful in vitro fertilization back when they were married. The media (STEPHEN COLBERT as REPORTER NO. 1), Senator Bill Frist (CHRIS COOPER), and Jesse Jackson (HIMSELF) all descend to weigh in as the trial commences. A four-way custody fight ensues...who will raise Mary's baby? Who will have custody of Robbie and Julia's kids? Will the big wedding Mary and Robbie are planning to save their family finances come off without a hitch -- when it turns out the bride is the judge's daughter?!? Can Steve be returned to a peaceful hereafter?